As academics, we live in a culture of critique. Students and potential students need to learn the norms of the profession, and the constant critique is one aspect. In this post I am mostly thinking of seminar presentations.
Because norms vary, it is interesting to contrast the two following posts.
Having been trained in the... rigorous tournament of ideas that is Chicago, I suspect we need a middle ground. I've made some effort to tone down my style for local norms in Australia, although I probably come off as too abrasive for some people. Norms will vary.
For PhD students, developing a thicker skin is part of the socialization process of learning the job and developing your professional identity. This comes in two parts: being able to speak up and being able to hear critique. For the first part, I agree with the second post, that young researchers have to learn to speak up and join the conversation, even if it is uncomfortable, or not one's usual style. Which is not to suggest indulging in rudeness toward a speaker, but voicing a critique or concern is not inherently rude. It's the framing that matters.
For the second part, in accepting critiques of our work, this takes time. At the beginning this is difficult, especially if you feel too close to your ideas or indeed you receive seminar questions that are abrasive. Review comments will tend to be even worse. At the same time, whether questions are objectively rude or not is a bit beside the point. In this profession, it is helpful to remember that poor social skills are a more likely explanation than deliberate rudeness, with someone being blunt and not thinking about whether the framing of the comment will mean it is poorly received. So it is helpful to remember that hey, at least people are engaged,* and a critique of our work is not a critique of us as a person.
* I would tend to worry if I gave a seminar talk and received no questions. Sometimes this means you did a good job, and all possible questions have been answered, other times you have either not left enough space for questions, which is something to improve. But on occasion, it means that your colleagues have such major concerns that they are too polite to voice these in public, and one has to actively seek out that kind of feedback. In other words, be wary of the silent audience.
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